Life Beyond Rejections
Learn these three tools that helped me get back to my life after facing a number of failures.
I have been coming across a lot of posts on LinkedIn about facing rejections and not receiving valuable feedback from recruiters while looking for a job. It is definitely frustrating and discouraging.
As a person who is going through the same, I want to remind you that getting upset when facing rejections can only restrict you from trying. And yes, I know it’s not as easy as I say. That is why I am here sharing my experience and showing you some tools that have worked for me to pull myself together.
No, it’s not something I discovered, it’s something everyone knows but is blinded by the fear of failure.
First of all, I want you to know that having a number of failed job interviews or rejections of any kind doesn’t mean that you are not worthy. I know there are thousands of people who are going through what I am going through.
So, I am here to remind you that — you got it! Don’t worry.
A little context before jumping back to the topic
I spent two long years being upset, crying my eyes off, and not finding a reason to get out of bed. Before I knew it, I was diagnosed with moderate depression. All because I was struggling to get a job.
I moved to Vancouver, Canada in 2019 hoping to build great relationships, a career in Product Design, and memories overall. Then came the novel coronavirus which changed life as we know it. I started getting rejections, so many rejections. Nothing I tried seemed to work. Slowly, I found myself leaving everything which made me what I was and only concentrating on getting that one perfect Product Design job.
Art has greatly influenced my interests throughout my life. In fact, my background in fine arts is what spawned my interest in product design. During the Covid year, as I faced more rejections, I quit working on my art. I stopped talking to my friends, let alone making new ones. I stopped exercising and shunned everything that could possibly help me. There was a time when I would spend my whole day scrolling endlessly on LinkedIn.
So, did I get a job? Of course not.
Everyone around me realized what I was doing wrong. But I refused to listen. My husband, my sister, and my parents tried explaining to me in every possible way but my eyes were only set on rejections.
Rejections in general can sure be hard to deal with. Everyone around you may seem to be enjoying that satisfaction of being productive. It is important to realize that someone’s rejection or acceptance should not be your main concern. You do what you do because you enjoy the process.
And finally, I have realized that my job is not my identity, being a Product Designer is not my identity. It sure is a part of my identity, but there are other things that constitute me that I cannot afford to ignore.
That being said, try these three tools that helped me see the light while being inside the tunnel. It has given me the strength to walk through the tunnel and hopefully someday come out of it. I hope it helps you too.
• Tool One — Having a goal is smart, quitting everything else to work on it is not.
Make art, write songs, play golf, do whatever you’re passionate about. Being able to do something you enjoy doing is a gift. It’s like a foundation to your life, a purpose to your life. There is always something we want to do professionally but that shouldn’t stop you from doing other things that give you joy. Your hobby or your interests other than your profession can greatly influence your behavior and actions. Stopping doing it is like letting go of a part of you.
I started painting again and realized how much I loved doing it. The great thing about painting is, I don’t care what others think about it, I don’t care how much money I can make from it, I don’t care about what I get in return. I just enjoy making art, so I do it. It has definitely brought a new sense of confidence and a new perspective to my life.
Try revisiting your hobby. Make it a point to practice it every day. Thank me later.
• Tool Two — It really helps to set other small goals.
It is important to set other small goals. It can be anything, from learning a new sport to cooking for your mom. Trust me, that sense of accomplishment helps you be more confident and gives you the strength to work on other goals.
Plus, it is something that you’ll never regret doing. There won’t be a time when you’ll think you wasted your time learning a new sport. It can only help you if anything.
We all have something we’ve always wanted to do. But, we postpone doing it keeping in mind the other things. I say, Don’t think, Do It. Is it bad for you? If not then do it.
I have been wanting to learn (blog) writing and improve my storytelling skills for 2 years. I thought I should start working on it once I get a job, that way I can concentrate on getting a job rather than learning something new. But, it doesn’t make any sense. I know I want to do it someday, so why not today? I might be crappy, but I am proud I tried.
• Tool 3 — Putting effort is in your control. What happens later is not.
I am sure everyone is aware of this. I have been hearing this from my husband for over a year now.
It is important to remind yourself that working towards your goal is in your control, but the outcome is not. It can be really hard to let go. Getting too attached to the outcome can make you feel overwhelmed and restrict you. It took me a while to realize this and let go. And I swear this side is better.
Think about the time you started your career. Why did you choose it? Because either you are good at it or it interests you. So, it is your job to work towards it. The outcome is beyond your control. Once you realize this, you can work better. Being too attached to the outcome will only restrict you from going out of your comfort zone and trying something new.
“Why wait till the end of the tunnel to see the light while you can make windows to guide you to the end.”
Conclusion
These tools have helped me draw a line between learning from the experience and feeling overwhelmed. Even if I fail at something, I now have other things to rely on.
You can be at any stage in your life. But, I am sure everyone can in some way relate to what I am talking about. The only thing in your control is not letting the rejections and failures affect the quality of your life. By writing this, I am also reminding myself to never get too attached to failures and never quit doing other things I love.
P.S. Many of the words and lines I have used were said by my husband which I lovingly stole. So a lot of credit goes to him.
